Review Online Casinos

 REVIEW ONLINE CASINOS

IF THE DEATH STAR HAD A CASINO

 Have you ever been kept awake at night wondering what a casino on the Death Star would be like? Well you can sleep tonight, because here is everything you ever wanted to know about the Death Star Casino - a wretched hive of scum and villainy. 

 The Death Star was a huge great thing, with about a million members of staff, who seemed to spend all day walking around trying to look busy in case Darth Vader came along and either throttled them, or gave them some real work to do, like 'Invade this'', or ''Transfer that prisoner.'' There didn't seem to be much in the way of leisure activities, certainly the swimming pool didn't look very appealing, what with the stalk-eyed octopus, and chance of getting squashed at any minute.

 The guys in prisoner cell block AA-23 were definietly playing online casino games before they got blasted. You could forfiet your bonus for that.

 So what if they decided to open a casino?

 Death Star Casino Rules.

 -No Jedi mind tricks.

 -In fact, no Jedi at all.

 ..or Jar Jar Binks.

- Let the Wookie win.

 Watoo had a bad gambling habit, losing a slave over a podracing bet, and Lando Calrission wasn't much better, winning and then losing a whole spacecraft in bets, even if it was a piece of junk. It's still got to cost a heap of credits.

 Any games involving shooting skills or hand / eye co-ordination should be encouraged. Most Stormtroopers couldn't hit a barn door, let alone a Womp Rat ; and they got beaten up by teddy bears.

 Imperial fighter pilots don't play Baccarat, because they always end up in a Tie.

 Remember, never, ever beat Darth Vader at anything. Ever.

By the way, when one of the x-wing fighters attacking the Death Star gets hit and is going down in flames, why is the pilot advised to ''Eject Eject!''?    They're in space. 

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Thanks.

 Dear George, please don't sue me.